The other day I decided I wasn’t going to feel guilty. About ANYTHING. I would just go about my day, taking life as it presented itself.
I didn’t have to accomplish anything in order to earn the right to breathe. It was amazing to me how much my mind resisted this laissez-faire attitude! Call it the Protestant Work Ethic, no doubt a part of my cultural and perhaps even genetic heritage.
So every time I felt that clench of what-are-you-doing-with-your-life guilt, I acknowledged it, let it go, and damn if I didn’t begin to feel a real surge of actual JOY! I then realized that my chronic guilt was a substitute for taking real action. Guilt allowed me to make suffering my raison d’etre. Guilt was my excuse, my alibi for not showing up for my life, a life of joy.
Still hard for me to describe exactly what this revelation encompasses. But for now, I am going to continue to boot the guilt every time it tries to bring me down. There is nothing I have to feel guilty about!
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